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1202cml Story

Page history last edited by 1202CML 12 years, 1 month ago

Concrete Hurts

 

One day a kid named Jack was walking down the street when he saw his friend Mike. They decided to have a race 3 laps around the neighborhood on the sidewalk. They started the race, then they both got tired, and finally they got to the last lap. Then when Jack was about to cross the finish line, he tripped and his face went flying into the concrete. When Mike turned around to cheer, Jack's face was bleeding badly, and he had to be rushed to the hospital. The doctor said he had a crooked tooth, the main bleeding point was the nose, and his tooth was crooked, and his mouth was bleeding. This sort of happened to me in 1st grade.

 

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Comments (2)

1201NB said

at 10:15 am on Oct 7, 2011

Needs more of everything it was to short!!!

1205BP said

at 10:19 am on Oct 7, 2011

Good story, but the plot was very simple and it didn't have any "WOW!" factors in the story. It was good, but check for COPS because you had a few errors. Overall, the story was good, though.

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